An Open Letter to Josh Groban

Dear Josh,

Last night was amazing.  You felt it, too, didn’t you?  I know you did.  I could see it in your adorable, crooked pirate face as you sang.  I realized, almost instantly, how perfect you and I are for one another.  Any man who is confident enough to wear white shoes with black pants after Labor Day is clearly a man I can love as I also wear white shoes with black pants.  Mine are running shoes with yoga pants, but it’s still all about the performance.  And the performance is magnificent.

It seems a little sudden, I know, and certainly imbalanced for only one of us to recognize the specific source of the transcendent love that exists between us.  I knew instantly that it was you, and while I’m certain you felt the connection, it would have been nearly impossible for you to pick my face out from the crowded sea.  And so I decided to write to you, so you would know.

When you sang “She Moved Through the Fair” and mentioned how you wanted to sing it someday at your our wedding, I was touched.  You see, next weekend is the Sarasota Renaissance Fair… and I have been recruiting friends to accompany me there.  Coincidence?  Hardly.  To be honest, a wedding is just not something that was important to me, but when you expressed your dreams, it became important to me, because it is important to you.  That’s just the kind of woman I am.

All the great artists and performers have relied on red-headed muses to create their most beautiful work.  Here I am, ready to inspire you to new heights.  I have no interest in competing for the spotlight; I am only interested in supporting you in your dreams, as I know you will support and inspire me in my goals and dreams.

Inspired yet?
Inspired yet?

Although the more I think about it, a love this perfect seems unfair, doesn’t it?  Can you imagine the incredible offspring we would inevitably create?  We would have multi-talented, beautiful, inspiring, magical unicorn babies.  This fallen world could never truly appreciate such incredible and magnificent beauty.  And perhaps the world would be better served if we found less perfect unions.  Of course, I would never presume to make a decision of such magnitude without your input, my love.  Let us get together in person to discuss the way forward.  I’ll await your reply.






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6 Responses to An Open Letter to Josh Groban

  1. Walter says:

    Wait, you are a redhead? How could I not know that? Perhaps of your overwhelming awesomeness blinded me to that fact. But still, you know about my fascination with Marg Helgenberger. How could I be that blind?

    • stubbs says:

      I guess I did not know that you did not know. I always figured that was part of why we hit it off so well.

      • Walter says:

        I believe we hit it off because you were so bright, articulate and genuine. Well, that and your wonderful sense of whimsey. 😉

        • stubbs says:

          To say nothing of your qualities… which could probably include the same list of bright, articulate, and genuine. I am glad we met each time we interact.

  2. RageMichelle says:

    HAHAH..awesome. I hope it works out for you.

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